So I'm going back, well planning to go back to school. Registered and all. I hope I will have the strength to go on with all the work, I hope I have enough power to not give in. I'm sleeping while my eyes are open just waiting for the clock to hit 1

These damn days

Fuck. I've been stressed out to the max. At my get-a-way point. I'm squeezing my hands tight!

Lord knows how bad I want to be my own boss, although the responsibilities get bigger you don't really have to worry about feeling under pressure or even better, no one telling you what to do. All this is unnecessary but for the time being I must put up with it. Trusting the girls you work with is a risk to take, must carry 3 eyes instead of two, but so far I love the vibe.

Its not like I need an answer right now, I can see it. La la la working for a living right? I miss u more everytime I'm away its okay tho its only 2 days right? :) life is good...

Headache and its on 8 in the morning. Breakfast will help. I'm tired, my day started bad already I want to go home. Its okay though, I will fix that. Hopefully this dentist is easy I've master working with the worst psst I'm ready to take on anything. Hopefully I work more days that would give me a reason to give space. Anyways my homefries sausage and eggs are here gotta eat before 9! Btw there's a great restaurant right next door to my job isn't that sweeeeeet lol :)

When will it ever be my turn?

So now that I got my license I co own my mothers car. :) just another responsibility on my hands. Now there's no need to steal it or any junk like that lol I need to paint my room and I think I'm considering gators for my ears. Small though I think they would look nice everybody would freak out... The reaction I enjoy :)

Did someone chewed me up spit me out and stomped on me right now? That's how I feel. My left side of my face is rumbling and its making my eyes hurt. My throat wants to decide today to shutdown making it hard to speak and swallow. But I'm thinking, there are so many people in this world who have it much worst. And pathetically I complain about a simple throat pain. I am not going to complain simply just eat it up take it like a wo-man and ya! I am speechless right now just want to nap but where is he? He's taking to damn long

A night away...

I applaud those who have a tougher shell. I envy them like crazy but soon I will be one amongst them. This is no body's fault. I take the blame, I am aware of my flaws and I flaunt. Flaunt. Flaunt. Just another day of mixed feelings and no this is not the end of that little soft part in my heart, sometimes its good to try different things. My one and only goal is to be real. Refreshing my mind I was once a lost case but with my feet on the ground now trust me I will succeed and I will do it alone. Time is money, that's why mom says always waist your money on good shit ;)

It snowed heavily and its nice I guess. I haven't slept good in a while and I see it not coming anytime soon. I lost my appetite and I'm aware of the damage it can cause.. So they say. I'm tired of this lifestyle I've been feeling horrible and there's nothing that I can pin point out specifically. Going through some things right now and I don't even have a get a way. Tears I shed here and there only because I can't scream of the frustration. Maybe that will do something. Its nothing I'm missing and nothing I need, I wake up constantly thinking when is the day I'm going to get my break. I'm tired of people putting on a face, like they care, like they think you matter. I'm fed up with thinking everything is okay because its not. You can be too nice but that fits certain people only and obviously I'm no candidate.

Let it snow let it snow let it snoww

Life is a tragedy... Face it

Spending the morning with mom. Errands so early. Snowing out like crazy. It won't stop mee

:)

And there is nooo milk for my cereal. What's next no ham and cheeeeeese??

Man I'm really feeling under the weather B

These dreams... Ugh

Pizzatime.

Back from the babe's home. In my bed slowly falling asleep again. Mom misses me so she starts yelling at me and the mess I've made... My room is so dark. Almost like my sleeping pill soothing yet so helpful its what makes my great dreams longer and my mornings good. Bueno my time is up swallowed by my pillows I must go back to sleeeep.

@ the barber shop..Okay so this is what i normally do on a Sunday and stuff... I mean its a pretty boring thing that i do only fun part is to make funny faces so he can watch and laugh and move and oops by mistake cut the wrong spot.. lol but yes um nothing out of the ordinary today just a normal day of errands.

.

Lady gaga- Dance in the dark.

Woke up with a stuffy nose. Babe is complaining about the cold and wouldn't let me sleep with the fan I mean its not my fault I get hot all the time! Anyways its Sunday and I'm ready for some more shopping :) ttyl!

mmm..

Sunny days,

Not feeling well... man and this weather ain't going to get any better. ugh.. oh summer where are you?

Thanks mom

My valentine.

Like he says everyday should be like valentines day and his actions most definitely speak louder than his words. Got my scrumptious chocolate cake and babe i loved it. You mean the world to me and I'm proud to say how lucky i am to have you in my life. There really isn't much to say because its simply I love you. Thank you for making me more than happy... 814

bla

I feel so out of place. Ugh goodnight

My little lady

ups

waiting for ups and i am sleepy as hell =/

maybe next time

Colts suck. =/

SPAM

Damn computer caught a virus =/

bye bye xeon!

Superbowl with hubb. Mierda getting my BOLD manana  =))))

sore.

I'm floating on my morals. Who got time for drama? I need to ease off some.

Gym was hectic so I'm off to nap. Will be on later!

Saturday...

off to take my 5 hour class!

Seeing double

Jut got back from city island with the fam and hub. Man had me two strawberry drinks and im feeling great. Kind of reminising on the good days i use to spend with my little brother and niece. It was a good feeling having every one i love together having a good time especially my baby. Finally my wishes have came true and i cherish every ounce of it. Now i am a bit on the woozy side and i just have to brag about my day because it was great =) more later to come... i mean tomorrow. lol niteee

bla

Thursday, Had a nightmare... sort of like DE ja vu'.RETTY scary. Anyways its early getting ready to go to hubs house. Got so many plans for that kid..... ah say ahhh ahh ahh lol bored listening to music. Earlier yesterday i was trying to find out if i was gona spend time with baby amaya but for some apparent reason i never go a response back. Pretty annoying how your so close to your family yet they distance themselves. Maybe when i grow older i won't need their support and things will just be better. idk

Drake.

Morning to myself

Shopping does make a person happy. Yes in deed! relaxing before baby amaya arrives =) Even though times are bad i can't really complain. I just wish i had some Godiva marshmallows right about now with some cold milk ugh. Babe said it was freezing cold today when in reality its actually really nice out... i mean maybe it was because i was stuffed under layers of clothing.... Selena (i could fall in love) Just came on my ihome. Wish she was still alive.. think she would knock out beyonce and the rest out... she was bad. Anyways just blabbering for now.. will be back tonight so stay tuned.

My prince

He sleeps with me, follows me around the house and when its time to eat he runs to his bowl of food too....

had him since he was a little baby and now he weighs more than god knows what! Love him to death he will always be King of the castle lol musssh!

Another day...

Listening to Drake- A night off, On the phone w|hub.So 6 weeks of winter left... One word (Excited) Spent the day alone... Did a few errands and finished cleaning my room from the hectic party that was here on Saturday.  I want to go back to school i was thinking about registering. I do miss the atmosphere and the work. Just got caught in the moment of that hard money making work. (drinking a nice cold cup of chocolate milk with ice =) ) Hopefully things will work out. My body was weak today, Pushed myself to wash the millions of loads of clothes i had. Just cozy in my room ending the day with some online activities and my mid night snack. Had the weirdest dream last night, won't get into details but let me say it was hurtful. I guess when you have some insecurities it gets the best of you. Honestly I'm just thinking about sleeping in my bed right now. Ah I've been mean and snotty and stupidly caring this attitude. I will ease it down...I know how bad it can really be and annoying... srry E. Really have no reason what so ever to be this way....Just need your attention even though you drown me in it and gratefully i endure it one last thought in mind, I need to shop,  seriously.

nite

Mixed

He's off to school... Im here listening to music. A lot in mind, waiting for the nail place to open. Happy birthday randy, didn't get to celebrate with you but i know you must of had a blast. 30 minutes with babies and i start growing gray hairs! Afraid i won't be able to handle it but i know I'd make a great mother. Haven't been inspired lately just been laying low. I just want the summer to come so i can have a great reason to hit the beach... Every minutes that passes by my mind hits a spin too much I'm feeding i just want to be relaxed. I miss his kisses... There really great......

Again.

Nothing to say for today. Tired to the bone

?

Nothing to say ....

No bother.

Finally finished. Man the pain is ridiculous but let me say its worth it. Not really in the mood to put a lot down today so i will keep it brief. Ain't do much today but missed you.... Dad hooked up my tat's and now its time to just be home and relax as much as i can. I realized something today, Mom always told me what ever it is you want in life..go for it; go hard. Even if its something if its small or not super important to have...just go for it. I don't ever want to let myself down and when you realize how much you've gained from self motivation and determination man the reward is spectacular. I once thought we would never ever be.... Beautiful how you can have all the power to make shit work.. My back is sore and i can't even sleep on it... jesus the healing needs to be quick know what im saying.................. out.

He's teaching me.

Feeeling the burn

I realized how rude i can get when im riding the train. especially the (1) Train. I call the (1) train (platano chuchu) lol Maybe from 181 to 135. That's my route. But yea today "by" accident i stumbled with a girl who was with 3 of her other friends. You see i don't need a crowd to feel big.. feel me? No one makes me look good but my damn self but besides that before i got off i notice her and her groupie friends were looking hard so before i even exited the train i "stumbled" across them. sort of like a bowling ball hitting its pins. I can't stand men who stare... men who stare while there girl's under their shoulder, I don't like people staring period but you know what even if i was to rip my pretty face off my skin i think people will....WELL JUST STARE. But yea My 135th street Broadway stop every morning. Typical drug dealers on the corners, Hicks yelling at each other, taxi cabs for days and most importantly my work place. I would of preferred downtown maybe even soho but i guess its good where its at right? (watching george lopez w/ern) aah monday night whats so different about you? no se pero my body feels weird.... Dont think fruity pebbles go with beef paties...

Love my new tattoo

ooh but this is stage one. Got more to go but yea so far i'm falling for it more and more.

Excuse the hair and messy look. E.R One of my first tattoos.

This is my favorite tho, has more meaning to it then the ink. Like the shades? He doesn't but only for our special occasions ;) CHAOOOOOO. Off for the next 2 days so i will be adding more madness to my so called blog. I think im going to get the hang of this. Got to hit the bed though.... Like i said Lopez tonight is on what you thought i meant?? cooochiinaaaaa

In love with it.

Como like peanut butter y jelly. I love a lot of things. Some odd, outthere, normal things...boring things eh a lot of a lot. I mean i hate pink, gossip girl, seventeen magazine, and oh-em-gee little pricky girls. How bout you turn the game on, pass the beer and wings and i'm there. Like hot rod's, 22's and engines. This is completely normal i think.... I mean don't get me wrong, i like nude lipgloss, doing my hair and looking fabulous..but you can say i'm not such a preppy girl. Rick Ross soft-core groupie? maybe. Prefer rap maybe some hip-hop, R&B when i'm in the mood...once again just blabbering. Blasting the I-pod, crazy how music makes you think a lot. Memory lane is where this takes you. Some good... most bad. Funny i say when you leave your faith in the hands of time life is just a breeze and i believe that to its fullest. Back to work and yes weekend is over. So what right? lol I just want a moment to shout out a few individuals who been on my mind these past days. Sis; Be strong all i have to say. Mom; I miss your morning sandwiches of i don't know what because most of the time im half asleep while eating them =). and Ern; I know i'm a tough load, Thank you though for sticking through... "It can only get better"

Nite.

UGH 2YR contracts!

First of all... Cingular sucks like crazy, i need to switch services and i can't im trappped! besides that i love sundays =) I seriously do. My lazy stay home lay down day and honestly i wouldn't change it for nothing! I was thinking about entering the tattoo business. My father was gifted with amazing hands and i think it passed on to me... like a hidden talent you know? Just have to practice and i think its a possibility to start tattooing. Bueno just blabbering for the time being. ahhh sundays =)

Que pasa?

gees too tired to do anything, and to think a young lady like me should be full of energy.. blaa. Work was a mess i mean patients after another. Can't complain tho i really do think my job is neat. Started thinking while i was on the ride home how many different characters you witness on the subway trains. I mean i think for different person i come across i would have a book larger than the bible each person in pages. You got the crack-heads that are the ones who mostly be on at night. You got the 'young' crew who are loud as fuck. You got the ladies with the babies who don't stop crying, The chinos selling dvd's, yo-yo's, and baTTERIEES. You got the fake rappers who seem to act like there rapping in the shower. The men who stare at girls, the girls who stare at men and most importantly the PERFORMERS who hustle real hard and probably go home with more than 100 cash in there pockets. Man the list can go on and on. One thing for sure for someone who has no choice but to take the train to get somewhere at least your entertained throughout it all. I think i witness more on the train then outside period! This is what happens when you play your i pod to the highest sound level playing hip hop/deep lyrical music. But you got to love New York City right? besides where else do you get exciting entertainment for $2.25? =)

She sleeps like me. Comfy and free

The after effect.

I don't know but the "after effect" is like no other feeling.  Right after its done i do get the munchies. Not like for chips or anything heavy but maybe a reg. sandwich preferably cheese and salami. That when you know it was great...gives you that sudden appetite. Glad my someone is doing his job perfectly. ANOTHER day that passes by and once again the urge to do this gym thing gets louder and louder. Its nighttime now and work starts tomorrow so that means i have less time to type and less time to sleep. WORK psst i know people are struggling with finding a job and i know i should be more that grateful for what i have accomplished but man aren't you suppose to be happy at your work place??? Well I'm going to leave it at that. Time to shut my eyes and put more ointment on my new tattoo. Wonder what tomorrow will bring???

Hanging out.

Nothing on day one..

First blog. Pretty excited but not going to put anything down for today. Let's leave that for tomorrow...